It's still the 18th, Sunday. So quiet and still except for the lull of the air conditioner which have run the entire day attempting to cool the house from the 105 degree temp. outside.
Sitting in the darkness of my room lit only by the light on my screen, I feel the quiet around me, surrounding me, as if it were a shroud. A shroud of loneliness. Besides the hurt of losing a loosing a loved one to death, being lonely is the most painful feeling I have known. Its intensity increases each time we move to a new place. I think I am a friendly person, but somehow I just don't fit in here in Folsom at all. I thought it would be so different, less isolated than when we lived on Fox Court in VA. But there I had a couple of good friends, and here I really don't have any. It's been 6 years. I cannot fathom that. Six long years with trial after trial, health, money, worry, loneliness -- such a long streak of stress and pain. No one would know , nor would I tell them of the isolation I feel inside.
Lindsey and Ben still come during the day and I delight in that Seeing them growing/learning/laughing /running and playing is a joy to behold.
All of a sudden I hear a howl, oh, that's Angel my sweet Labrador singing -- she only sings to certain music but when she does, its crazy! The two labs, Angel and Harrison are exhausted from the dog park run they had, and they will sleep great and hopefully so will I.
The starts and blackened night are in the sky above me now. Stillness surrounds me. Where is the peace I seek? the hope and the dream of a better day. I wait upon the Lord to bless my life and I know he will. I know he will. So as the dreams fill my sleeping mind, my body and soul receive their nourishment,
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